The Prodigy

Wow. Wowie wow this was a bad one. I…there are so many ways in which it was bad, and then it somehow got worse? Just so much worse. And there was a small child in my showing, so already that’s a bad omen for a horror movie.  Well…I say “horror.” The most horrifying things about this movie are primarily the script, the acting, the story, and the direction. Maybe it’s a good thing that small child probably won’t retain a memory of this shitshow. How bad are we talking? Well…

This is going to be full of spoilers because I’m trying to protect you from this moldy tuna sandwich of a movie. It starts with an opening sequence that cuts between 1) a serial killer being shot to death in a raid upon his house after one of his victims escapes and 2) a woman in labor delivering her son. The sequence includes a naked man screaming at the sky NOOOOOOOOOOOO and a baby covered in blood blobs that correspond to the serial killer’s gunshot wounds. So. Citizen Kane it ain’t. The Prodigy is about the Blumes – John and Sarah (Peter Mooney and Taylor Schilling) and their son, Miles (Jackson Robert Scott). Miles isn’t like other kids because of the whole serial killer/birth thing and due to ~handwavey reincarnation reasons~ Sarah has to figure out how to sever that whole serial killer connection before she loses Miles forever. If that sounds stupid to you, I promise it is so, so much more stupid than you think.

Some thoughts:

• The buildup towards Miles’ full-blown serial killer persona is shown in little vignettes as he is a young child up until the movie really kicks into gear when he’s 8. However, the things they show to indicate that Miles is off somehow are puzzling. Like, for example, he crushes a small spider in his hand when he’s like 5. But…spiders are objectively terrible. Like I get that they have to be a thing as a part of the ecosystem and the circle of life and all that, but you’re lying if you’ve ever seen someone kill a spider and been like WELL THAT PERSON IS CLEARLY A SOCIOPATH. If it had been like, a gerbil or even a butterfly or something, you’d probably think something was a little odd about the kid. Unless the spider is writing words about a pig in her web, I just don’t think this is as effective as the filmmakers want it to be.
  
• Similarly, there’s a weird sequence with a babysitter and some broken glass. Wife thinks it is insanethat I always wear shoes in our house, but then I see A Quiet Place or this babysitter in this movie, and I know I’m fucking right. So many problems can be avoided by just wearing shoes. If the tension in your movie is robbed by shoes, it just seems like maybe your script needs some work.
  
• [Dog-related spoilers] – As in all horror movies, as soon as the dog showed up I became very concerned. And reader, this is the first time this year that I have to tell you I WAS RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG. VERY UPSET ABOUT THE WAY THE MOVIE TREATS EVERYTHING SURROUNDING THE DOG. There are gratuitous shots of the dog not once but fucking TWICE. I cannot stress enough, AVOID THIS FILM if you will be sensitive to harm coming to this dog 😦
  
• So after weird things start happening with Miles, Sarah goes through the normal process of doctors, psychologists, teachers, etc to try to figure out what’s wrong. This is where any semblance of logic or narrative sense departs. Arthur Jacobson (Colm Feore) who is…a not-doctor? No one is really sure what his credentials are. Well he shows up and starts talking about reincarnation and Sarah is like THAT’S CRAZY TALK GET AWAY FROM MY SON and then in the next scene, she’s trying to convince her husband that Jacobson is the key to helping Miles. To be fair – she watched a very compelling Youtube video. It’s like, on the one hand, reincarnation being depicted as sO bAnAnApAnTs cRaZy is pretty arrogant and offensive. On the other hand, at least let your character have some kind of commitment to their convictions. God this is all a fucking mess.
  
• When Sarah leaves Miles alone with the not-doctor Jacobson (again, no credentials to speak of) for a hypnotism session, Miles’ serial killer ghost starts talking shit about accusing Jacobson of molesting him if he doesn’t get his way and keep Miles’ body for himself. This scares the not-doctor into lying to Sarah and saying “nope, no serial killers here, everything’s cool in my completely unprofessional opinion!” And that’s all well and good until you remember that people record their sessions with unaccompanied minors to avoid that exact situation. 
• When Jacobson and Sarah figure out the identity of the person possessing Miles, they’re trying to figure out what his unfinished business could be so that he’ll move on and detach from Miles. A serial killer…whose 10th victim got away from him…god, what could he want? What could it p o s s i b l y  b e ? At least 15 minutes of this 92 minute movie is spent on Sarah trying to puzzle this out. 
• And her plan to solve the problem is the actual worst plan I’ve ever seen. If someone has unfinished business, THEY have to FINISH the BUSINESS. It’s in the goddamn name. 
• And lastly who the FUCK wants to be stuck in the body of an 8-year-old boy? Would you really want to go through puberty for a second time just so you could get your murder on? I mean, I suppose it’s better than being dead but…is it really? Have you ever spent time with a group of 12- or 13-year-old boys? God, eternal damnation or blank nothingness just seems like SUCH a better option.

Please do yourself the favor of never watching this. I sacrificed 92 minutes that I will never get back so you don’t have to experience this. I’d advise spending 92 minutes petting a dog instead.